we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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