Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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