My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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