speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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