It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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