Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
