My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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