Old men and throwing up are my life now.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
