is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
