I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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