Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
