No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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