Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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