i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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