dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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