good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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