stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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