I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
