where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
