we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
