I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
