She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
