I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
