May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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