I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
soo... how was my night?
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