Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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