Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
