I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
