talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
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