new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
