the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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