I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
