You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
