All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
