Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
