508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
