I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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