so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I cockslap morals
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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