The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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