There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
