Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
