Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
