I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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