addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
