I'm really into asian looking animals
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
