I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
