Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
