Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
