We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
