I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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