Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
